DScottGRRL

(what I’m NOT allowed to eat today)

Forgive me if this post is a bit acerbic but all I’ve had for the day is coffee and raw carrots. See how that makes you feel.

Anyway, I’m going home in two weeks so you know what that means…

That five pounds I’ve been trying to lose for the past year needs to get lost in the next 14 days.

For real. Get me back to my fighting weight.

Lord knows I’ll need the strength to fend off any of my family members who feel it necessary to tell me I’m looking “healthy.”

Screw you. If you don’t know, in Caribbean terms, “healthy” is a euphemism for fat. You know, like “fully covered,” or “big-boned,” or “broad.” Inevitably followed by by a smug, condescending smile and up-and-down look.

Healthy. How dare they. I am NOT healthy. Sickly, I’ll take. Gaunt, even better.

But isn’t this just emblematic of society’s ambivalent relationship with food? Let’s pity the dying bird, people, not the plumage. (vague Thomas Paine reference)

Anyway, just about a week ago I decided to cut out all breads, pastas and potatoes to jumpstart my downward scale spiral.

It’s working, bit by bit. At this rate, it might actually happen.

But let me tell you a secret.

All this ketosis and fat-burning that starving yourself of carbs is supposed to do–that isn’t what makes the Atkins work.

In the six days since carbs have passed through my lips you know what the most noticeable change has been?

Food has become THE MOST BORING part of my day.

You take away carbs and what do you get? Meat and vegetables. And not even interesting meats and vegetables like fried chicken (breaded) and cucumber tempura (also breaded).

You know what you get? Raw carrots. And grilled chicken. And coffee–my loveliest vice which even today can’t lift my spirits.

Not even sushi!

Or maybe if you’re lucky you get chicken curry but let me tell you, it’s just not the same without rice and potatoes. And after you’ve eaten it for the third day in row, it downright sucks.

At this point, I’m so disenchanted by my lack of culinary choices I can’t muster the interest to eat anything.

YAY! Diet’s working!

bitter? me? no, of course not.

Just hungry. And grossly under-satiated.

Technorati Tags: Atkins, ketosis, carbs, diet, family, weight, fully covered, big-boned