On Elevator Etiquette
October 12th, 2007
I’ve heard People say numerous times that society requires of us that we face the door while in an elevator. Even when we’re riding alone.
It’s one of the things People cite as a social norm that helps make the world run a little bit smoother.
Well I guess I was put on this earth to cause a ruckus because I neeeeevvver face the door.
Everrrrrr.
If it’s crowded, I’ll face one side with my back against the wall, closest as I can be to the door.
Two reasons:
a) I don’t like people staring at the back of my head (that’s just weird. seriously)
b) If it’s crowded, I want to be the closest to the door as possible so I can make a run for it. Even if I’m the last stop.
That’s not so illogical is it?
Of course, when I’m alone in an elevator I feel compelled to walk around in concentric circles, quietly hoping to God no one gets in and catches me, but nevertheless entirely unable to control the impulse.
There is one reason for this:
I can’t stand still. Ever. For like, more than two seconds.
So does that make me a social freak or are People just wrong?
I’ll believe the latter until someone presents me with overwhelming evidence to the contrary. And when they do, I’ll just take that evidence and rationalize the shit out of it until it submits to my way of thinking.
I’m the queen of this universe.
‘Tis good to be the queen.
October 14th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Illogical. I’m the king and you’re not blonde, therefore you can never be queen. QED.
Now that your tinfoil defenses have been dismantled by my indomitable logic and reasoning, what’s this about your walking around in circles concluding that people are wrong? You’re not making sense. Nobody’s staring at your head, really. They’re staring at the light that says they don’t have to stand up in a suspended steel box with strangers for much longer. Also, if you face the door it’s easier to see if you’re on the wrong floor, or if more people are going to zerg the elevator with you. How do you make a run for the door if you’re not even facing it? Do you plan on running backwards? What if a man with a cactus is trying to get on?
What you’re really doing is staring at everyone else. And you probably have a look on your face that says “get out of my steel box so I can walk around in circles.” Now that’s freaky.
Rationalize that. And summon a jester while you’re at it, you’re claustrophobic.
King Weso
October 16th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
^^ the hell?
October 17th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
BARTENDER !!I’ll have what Wes is having.
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:20 am
Nah you don’t want that…. *shaking head*
I personally put my back to a side, usually leaning back as well, simultaneously exuding some aura of dissatisfaction. That’s not an active thing though. Very unconscious it seems.