DScottGRRL

Love Bowling Just LURRRRVEEE EEET!

It’s always delightful when you find new sports which you should totally never again be caught playing because the next time you just might actually die of embarrassment.

I am a horrendously awful bowler.

Not that I didn’t know that before. Somewhere in there I was always remotely aware that bowling wasn’t “my thing.” But that didn’t mean I wasn’t up for a night of balls and pins.

Au contraire, I was all over that shit.

Forgetful Jones

I guess it had been a while–say, 9 months or so–since the last time I’d bowled. And within those 9 months I had magically forgotten:

a) how much I suck at bowling

b) how much I hate losing

c) the inevitability of my sucking and consequent losing at bowling

Not Last

I’ve written about my competitive streak before (here) but let me make it clear–it had no place in bowling last night.

Bowling for me was never about winning.

I mean, let’s be real–we all have a good enough idea of what we can humanly accomplish in life and for me, a 300 is not on that list and never will be.

No, I didn’t set out with pie-in-the-sky hopes of kicking ass at bowling last night. My goals were much more humble: not being last.

It’s one thing to suck and entirely another to suck the most out of everyone you’re with. And that was me, last night.

Urgghhhhh.

And I tried. I really really really tried. Sometimes I’d get close and get 9 pins but never the strike. In 4 consecutive games, not one, single strike. Lordie, not even a spare. NOT ONE SPARE.

I tried to think about it rationally. I’ve never sucked this bad before, I don’t think.

Wardrobe Issues

Maybe it was my outfit.

I had a really hard time figuring out what to wear last night.

Here were the factors: 50 degrees outside, nice dinner with friends… then bowling.

For the life of me I could not come up with the outfit to accommodate all three factors.

Pants

There’s the whole no heels things–can’t wear pants that are long enough to wear heels because then you’ll be tripping over them when you wear those gorgeous rental bowling shoes. And of course, the pants have to be comfortable to allow for freedom of movement. Same with shirt.

Layers

And then you have to think about layers. It’s effing cold outside but you know once you’re there and throwing strikes (ha ha) you’ll get all warmed up and feel the need to remove clothing.

Dinner

And then there’s the dinner factor. Who wants to look like a schlub going to play bowling when you’re going out to dinner with friends?

It was just a little too much for me. I couldn’t deal. Couldn’t wrap my head around it. I’m not saying it’s impossible. Just that I was unprepared for the occasion and well, that just never bodes well.

I blame the weather. I’m just not in a good wardrobe place when it comes to this whole winter thing. It was miserable. I was switching it up til the last minute and I just wasn’t happy about it.

Lesson Learned

I know myself. An unhappy outfit is a sucky bowling Dan.

Lesson learned.

Challenge: A prize to who comes up with the perfect bowling/dinner/50-degree weather outfit. I’ll be the judge

Technorati Tags: bowling, LA, winter, wardrobe issues