Overheard: The 99 Cent Store
August 6th, 2007
She walks into the breakroom only to find one of her co-workers at the copy machine.
bright smile. inane conversation. brace yourself. ok. ready. deep breath.
she is nice enough. middle-aged. in administration. helpful.
SQUARE
~ So now, how has LA been treating you? Have you seen all the sights?
ALL the sights? Impossible. I bet yooouuuuuu haven’t seen all the sights. Shut up. Just find something generic to say.
~ Well, I’ve been going to a lot of concerts, a lot of the beach stuff. It’s been great so far!
bright smile
~Ahhh, but let me ask you: Have you been to the 99 cent store yet?
vain attempt to conceal quizzical WTF expression. WTF indeed? Read the rest of this entry »
They’re teasing me
May 16th, 2007
The Truth Behind the Myth
May 16th, 2007
Now I must admit, fog beats smog any day and that’s only one of the multitudinous reasons why I won’t move from the westside.
But seriously, it’s time for me to do my part in dispelling this “sunny-California-beachin’-every-day myth.”
Now let this be a lesson to you all.
Firstly, the water ain’t that pretty and unless you’re a masochist or surfer you will never venture into that ice bucket. You won’t find me there fo sho.
And secondly (this is the clincher), by some perverse California anti-logic, the closer you get to the water, the nastier the weather gets. Here’s my irrefutable proof:
Big up to Elan–go take a listen
May 3rd, 2007
“I know you’re having a good time because it’s midnight on a Wednesday and you’re not whining about going to sleep.”
It was a Wednesday night. We were out. In Hollywood. To see some reggae bands.
We went to a reggae show on a Wednesday night in Hollywood.
You know what I usually do on a Wednesday night?
Watch America’s Next Top Model. (I wanted Brittany to win)
I always depend on the kindness of strangers OR A blistery, blunderingly Danielle day
April 24th, 2007
Sometimes I think I’m an idiot savant.
I mean, all in all, I consider myself highly intelligent, but mostly in the book smarts area, I’ll admit. I’m really good at memorizing things and standardized tests and all of that stuff that doesn’t matter for shit once you leave school.
Street smarts, common sense, whathaveyou–I have serious problems. It has to do with my dreamer gene, I think, which I recently learned may have a name.
Anyway, on with my story. Yes, on with the story. (not-so-obscure Sesame Street News reference)
Consistently Cold in California
April 10th, 2007
Dear Abby,
I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.
Now I like gossip magazines. I’m a big fan. Daily reader, you might say. And now, with this crazy internet and all (it’s a modern day miracle), you can see today for today where the stars are partying, who they’re talking to, and what they’re wearing.
So here’s what I don’t get.
Why I left Miami
March 5th, 2007
There’s probably one, overwhelming reason why I left Miami…
Everyone else did.
How is it that I can go to some random club in Hollywood and bounce into more UM folk I know than I’ve seen in one place since Sandbar on a Thursday night circa fall 2002?
on Traffic
March 1st, 2007
I’ve solved the LA traffic disaster.
All it took was a short trip to Miami where I could observe the native drivers with the objective eye of one who no longer lives there.
The Orderliness of Things
February 21st, 2007
Something I’ve noticed about LA — things generally work.
It may be a little slower goings than the East-Coast style I’m used to, but in general, everything happens in an efficient and orderly way.
Take the DMV for instance. Took me less than two hours to get a driver’s license. Even though I forgot to bring some important documents. The very kind DMV lady walked me through the process, helping me as much as she can without so much as a snarl. Or rolling her eyes. Woooowww.
